Not Forgetting to Forget in Forgiving

Hey Karen,

You are correct in that the Father wishes us to forgive in the same manner as he does. Jesus said, “be perfect therefore as your Father in Heaven is perfect” Matt. 5:48 the Sermon on the Mount. He was talking about loving our enemies when he said this. But the pre-requisite is that you have to have an enemy in order to forgive them.

Now the Father gave us examples of just how expects us to be like him, in forgiving enemies. He does want us to indeed forget (throw away) the offense like it never happened. But by forgetting (throwing it away) however, the meaning is to forget (throw away) the anger and judgment the offense and the offender caused.

For the Father, sin/unrighteousness separates us from him and causes him to judge us. He is holy and cannot look upon our sin, thank you Jesus for saving us.

For us, when someone hurts us let’s say, in a vicious way, it often causes us to separate from that person because of our anger and inability to forgive by forgetting, though we may initially forgive.

Forgiveness is after all a followers’ duty we know this and there’s no margin for error. But being human beings we find a way to hide or hold on to the anger (we think) in not forgetting.
In many cases not forgetting is a way of keeping us protected from the person or persons that harmed us. We don’t trust that we’ll stay away from them if we truly forgive. But if we don’t forget we won’t return to them and we honor ourselves.

However, this works against us in that in some cases after the separation the pain grows deeper when we remember it further carving greater emotional craters in our lives as well as causing damage to our relationship with God and others.

This is where the Father teaches us how to forget (throw away) the offense because as humans when we forget we plunge right back in. “He who forgets history is destined to repeat it.”
God knows us so the example is:

Isa. 43:25 I, even I, am He Who blots out and cancels your transgressions, for My own sake, and I will not remember your sins… ”

Ps. 103:12 “as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us… “

Micah 7:19 “Once again you will have compassion on us.You will trample our sins under your feet and throw them into the depths of the ocean!”

~

In cases of trust being broken intentionally, or foul play that leads to the death of a friendship or worse (God forbid), the remembrance of the person/persons and the event/events may cause us to replay the hurt associated with said the person/persons and event/events.

It is then we must remember; we forgave the offender and mustn’t give the devil place (legal – authority) to enter our hearts and cause us to separate from God in anger unchecked which is sin.

The Father does want us to be child-like in this way. “Vengeance is mine says the Lord.” He will protect us, even if we forgive to the point we forget.
We may not ever again have a relationship with the person/persons who harmed us, but we can pray for them in love having truly forgotten the pain and anger that came about as result of their misdeed toward us. But this is much easier said than done.

~

And God knows that’s why he gave us the assignment. If it were that easy to forgive with forgetfulness the bible would be very short and Christ could have stayed home.

Forgiveness to the point of forgetting (throwing away) is one of the greatest challenges we as believers will ever have before us. In fact in the Lord’s Prayer it is the only conditional part of the prayer; “forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who have sinned against us…”

The implication in the word is clear, forgiving is impossible without forgetting (throwing away). Only when we forget-throw away all bitterness and anger with all malice can we enjoy the fruits true forgiveness can bring.

It is possible to with Christ’s help, remember the person/persons event/events and think to ones’ self, "I can’t remember how much that hurt..." right?

Thanks for the discussion Karen, it really helps.


Sean, Loving Believer in Christ